How to answer the call of nature as a true Hindu

How to answer the call of nature as a Hindu:

  1.       Fill your brass can with water at the well
  2.       Take off your sandals and certain other utensils and find a clear spot on level ground
  3.       Forbidden are – however level! – temple courtyards, main roads, the banks of rivers, lakes and sources; ploughed soil, groves of banyan and other holy trees
  4.       Make sure that the triple cord is secure, the usual way is to wrap it around your left ear. Place your dhoti on your head.     
  5.       Thereupon …
  6.       Restrain your eyes! During the procedure you may neither look at the sun nor the moon as well as the stars. Brahmans, temples, idols and holy trees may  not be desecrated  by profane gazes
  7.       Keep your mouth shut! And don’t chew whatever you have in it while you’re at it
  8.       Do it quickly but not without dignity. Never look back! Clean your backside with a scouring agent but avoid soil from termites’ nest, a potter’s hole, ash from a cremation site, dust from the roadside, bleaching powder as well as soil from tree trunks and from places where voles live …
  9.       Go to the next river or watercourse and purify yourself from the great defilement.

Oh, I forgot to mention that you may only use your left hand. No idea how one-armed people handle that.